Carbs = Hunger = FAT: 4/18/11

I am a realist.

I realize that every once in awhile, over-eating is inevitable.  It's going to happen.  The dreaded "Food Events" of are going to gang-up on me sometimes.  What I need to do is learn how to handle them better when they happen.  Ideally, when I'm trying to lose 20+ more pounds, I'd sequester myself inside some kind of cocoon where there are no food temptations, no situations where everyone around me is eating all of the foods I love, and no deviation from my calorie-counting duties, my exercise machines, and my strict self-control.

Unfortunately, life doesn't roll that way.  The past week has been tough for me, but not because I'm losing focus, or because I don't care about succeeding.  I've had a very screwy week of eating.  Monday was perfect, ending at 1100 calories.  Tuesday was OK, with a lunch at Guadalajara at noon, but I skipped the chips and all but a couple bites of Spanish rice and tried the grilled shrimp and veggies, which was delicious.  That evening I did 50 elliptical minutes, which felt great - and sure enough, I was down to 147.5 pounds on Wednesday morning.  Wednesday was another great 1100-calorie day, combined with 60 treadmill minutes - but I was UP a half pound on Thursday morning.  Looking back, I think that tiny disappointment must have mentally knocked me down more than I realized, because my self-control flew into the shitter on Thursday afternoon and stayed there until Saturday evening.

I did not do well between Thursday afternoon and Saturday night.  I was on-track until 1:00 p.m. Thursday, and then... I LOST IT.  I went out for lunch to J.B. Schneider's with my hubby, and instead of ordering the big salad I should have, I remember thinking about my morning scale disappointment for one second, and immediately followed that thought with this one:  "I WANT BREAD."  

I ordered what I thought would be an OK sandwich, filled with grilled veggies on Italian bread.  It was delicious but greasy.  I substituted tomato-basil soup for the fries, which was the only smart dieting choice I made the rest of that day.  Back at work after lunch, it was as though the flood-gates opened - I was INSTANTLY famished all over again, within the hour, most likely from the unfamiliar white-flour bread carbs in my system.  I inhaled FIVE Red Vines (similar to Twizzlers) and TEN mini Reeses Peanut Butter Cups (OH MY GOD!!!) within an hour of lunch.  Yes, you read that right.  I devoured 625 calories of sugar carbs without tasting or enjoying them, AT ALL, and the remorse afterward only amplified my misery.

I first got addicted to Red Vines working at Hollywood Video.  I ate an entire box every time I worked.

I discovered there is a strange, "Red Vine / Harry Potter Culture" in existence.  Bizarre...

Yeah, they're small-ish.  But TEN of them STILL contain 450 calories!!!!!!!

I tried to reign myself in after that.  I tried to get a grip on my insane cravings for carbs and only ate and handful (maybe 1/4 cup) of dry roasted peanuts as I left work at 5:00 p.m.  Thursday ended with my favorite frozen Indian dinner, a Greek yogurt, a splash of coffee, and 55 elliptical minutes...but I was still up a full pound on Friday morning.

This is still my favorite frozen meal, after more than 7 months of eating them.  A LOT of them.

The "real" Greek brands taste better, but Dannon's honey flavor has the fewest calories.

Friday and Saturday sucked, calorie-wise and self-control-wise.  There are simply no other words to describe my actions.  I did well early in the day on Friday, in anticipation of my evening plans - a 4:00 matinee with my Mom and sister, followed by dinner out afterward.  At the movie ("Water for Elephants," AMAZING!!!) I ate an entire small lard-coated popcorn, TWO boxes of movie candy (Good 'N Plenty AND Jolly Rancher Gummies), and a smuggled-in can of Cherry Coke Zero.  India Palace followed at 6:30, with most of my usual favorites.  It was a free-for-all of hot chai, plain naan, basmati rice, tamarind chutney, and navratan korma.  The only thing I skipped were the veggie samosas; I had no room for them after so much movie food.  They were missed.

ADDICTIVE.  I can eat a whole box and not even notice.

Mindless munching.

Saturday (yesterday) was much the same, except that I didn't bother to count calories AT ALL.  I snarfed a frozen, generic white-flour waffle with spray butter and fakey syrup in the morning.  (In my defense, I did make it for baby, but she only wanted her venison bacon - so I ate the waffle, rather than throwing it out.  Lame excuse, but true.)  Around noon I ate a heaping bowl (at least a TRIPLE-serving) of Golden Grahams with WHOLE milk, less than an hour before heading to my Mom's house for Easter brunch.  WHY did I feel the need to do that?!  I should NOT have eaten that cereal, knowing I was about to embark on a holiday calorie-fest.  I felt like I was starving, and I can only assume that it was the white-flour waffle and fakey syrup carbs that spiked my hunger response so dramatically.  I felt like I couldn't make it less than an hour without food - so I grabbed the first thing that popped into my brain, which was cereal.  

THIS is NOT a healthy breakfast.

With the high fructose syrup omitted, here's what you get now:  Corn syrup, "liquid sugar" (natural sugar & water), lactic acid, cellulose gum, preservatives, caramel color, and a few other mysterious ingredients I can't pronounce.

Easter brunch was delicious.  Appetizers were veggies and dip, crackers and pickled herring, Coke, Dr. Pepper, little dishes of jelly beans and toffee-covered peanuts.  Dinner was baked ham, cheesy-scalloped potatoes, green beans, ceasar salad, Apple-Snicker salad, dinner rolls with butter, and I had two glasses of my favorite sangria.  We watched a movie afterward ("Kate & Leopold," sweet!), which included buttery microwave popcorn, more pop, and coffee with yummy flavored creamer.  I got home with the kids after 8:00 p.m., with a very over-full but deliriously-happy stomach.


SO then...


Can ANYONE OUT THERE explain to me why I felt the need to wolf down ANOTHER huge bowl of Golden Grahams at 10:00 p.m?!?!?!?

Apparently, I cannot have these in the house.

You don't really have to tell me why.  I already know why.  The carbs from my delicious, decadent holiday dinner party caused my insulin response to spike, which is why I felt like I was STARVING to death at 10:00 p.m., even though my stomach was still distended with the food I had inhaled all day.  I wasn't really hungry, CLEARLY, but I felt like I was.  


The following statement is of course just my opinion, but in case I haven't made my thoughts on the subject clear enough in the past, I'll repeat it now:   


I.  CANNOT.  EAT.  CARBS.  WHEN.  I.  AM.  DIETING.


I know that a human needs a certain amount of the RIGHT carbs to function.  Those are not the kinds of carbs I'm talking about here.  Obviously, the kind I mean are the ones that aren't whole-grains, vegetables, fruits, and beans - a.k.a. "healthy carbs."  I mean white-flour, refined, processed, sugary carbs.  When I eat them, I literally LOSE ALL CONTROL over any eating that follows.  


I bought the "Carb-Addict's Diet" book years ago, and one of the first things written in that book is a list of questions designed to tell you what "type" of carb-addict you are.  Based on your answers, it tells you whether your addiction to carbohydrates is mild, moderate, or severe. 

Here's a link to this Quiz - EVERYONE should take this!!!
The Carbohydrate Addict's Quick Quiz


Guess which one I AM???


Yep.  I'm a "SEVERE" carb-addict, according to the "Carb-Addict's Diet" book.  So I guess it shouldn't really surprise me that eating the "wrong" kinds of carbs affects me so dramatically.  I KNOW THIS about myself.  


So why is it SO hard to avoid them???


I'll let you know when I solve that puzzle, and then I'll share my billions with you.


I'm SIX POUNDS heavier this morning than I was on Wednesday morning - that's just 96 HOURS ago!!!  Needless to say, I'm pretty disgusted with myself today.  Today will be a good day, though.  I WILL consume no more than 1100 calories, and there WILL be an hour-long workout.  The thought of anything else today is repulsive.