Time Flies When You're Busy EATING.

Yippeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, I'm back!
With new motivation, new goals, and a new font color.    LOL

It's been a glorious 141 days of food and excess, but now the festivities must come to an end.  I'm turning 43 in a few days, and I have 26 pounds to lose by then.  

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.

Obviously, this will not happen, even on the strictest, weirdest, most frightening fad diet.  So we're not going to GO THERE.

Summer is over.  I started my diet-and-exercise odyssey last September 20th, hoping to shed 40 pounds and to weigh 125 by this past June.  I lost a total of 21 pounds, which I think is not horrible, and then I gained and re-lost and re-gained and RE-re-lost the same 5 pounds over the course of the past 141 days.  It's been a wild and raucous yo-yo-yo-yo-yo-yo-yo summer.  I'm exhausted and nauseous just thinking about it!

Today, I'm at that point where we "serial dieters" find ourselves when we say, "I can't do this anymore."  That's where I am.  I have been avoiding mirrors all summer, and apologizing to my husband every time I'm naked.  This in itself is ridiculously depressing.  I'd really like to NOT have to do that anymore.  It's been four full years since I've weighed 125, which is my goal weight.  That's the weight I'm happy at, and also the weight at which my old clothes fit me.  I'm going to go for it - again.

This time around, I am sticking to a much simpler, much less restrictive, much more realistic plan.  Here's the gist of it:

1.  I'm going to follow the Four Basic Rules of Dieting, which are:

1. When You Are Hungry, Eat
2. Eat What You Want, Not What You Think You Should
3. Eat Consciously And Enjoy Every Mouthful
4. When You Think You Are Full, Stop Eating

 2.  I'm going to keep my metabolism up by spacing three meals and two snacks out over the course of the day.  I am hoping that this will help me follow the Dieting Rules above.  I haven't been eating enough in the morning, and I've been pigging out in the evening.  This is something that I've done for years and years.  I'm going to spend more time pre-planning my meals, because I know this will help eliminate a lot of my random snarfing.  Right now, I eat things I shouldn't out of pure boredom.  I know I do this, and I haven't been able to figure out a way to STOP doing it.  I think that thinking about the day's eating ahead of time, rather than trying to figure out what to eat when it's time to sit down and eat it, will really help me.  I need to somehow figure out how to stop my random snacking.  It's OUT OF CONTROL.  I'm still counting my calories, and I'm trying to stick to between 1100 and 1300 per day.  That range seems to be a good weight-loss range for me.  When I eat more than 1300 calories per day, I don't lose - I either maintain or I gain.  For example, today I am going to try to stick to the following menu and schedule:

8:30 a.m. - cup of tea with cream & sugar (60 calories)

10:00 a.m. - Indian seasoned potatoes and chickpeas (260 calories)

12:30 p.m. - apple (90 calories)

2:30 p.m. - Healthy Choice frozen veggie & brown rice meal (220 calories)

5:00 p.m. - teriyaki beef steak (120 calories)

7:00 p.m. - Kashi frozen Mayan Harvest Bake meal (340 calories)

Total calories for the day:  1090

***  IF I stick to my calorie limit each day (1300 on cardio days and 1100 on non-cardio days...), I am going to allow myself a "treat" in the evening:  5 ounces of my favorite sangria (160 calories)!!!!!!!  If I don't stay on or below my calorie mark, then I don't get my treat!  This is actually EXTREMELY MOTIVATING.  Why didn't I think of this before?!    LMAO.

This is delicious, and super-filling!

My favorite frozen veggie dish.

These are a little tough to chew, but they satisfy a protein craving.

I didn't love this entree at first - but it grew on me, and now I'm addicted!

FYI - I do realize that the average intelligent person is going to look at the above menu and say, "She's an IDIOT!  Why is she eating so many things that are packaged/processed/frozen?!"  This is a logical observation.  I would answer a skeptic by deferring to my new-found, personal weight-loss philosophy:  SOMETIMES, we must do what works for us - and that may not be the exact same thing that works for somebody else.


Obviously, eating nothing but fresh, organic fruits and vegetables, self-harvested lean meats, and straight-from-the-cow low-fat dairy products would be the way to go.  However, I have found that in my current situation, that is, my life-as-I-know-it-right-now, the ideal is so often unattainable that it begins to cause depression when I can't get myself to a farmer's market or the Whole Foods Co-op often enough.  I'm so tired of feeling guilty and depressed about food.  I just want to feel better, and look better, and I truly believe that frozen entrees and vegetables squirted out of a foil pouch can help me attain my goals without compromising my health, just as surely as the fresh-out-of-the-earth versions would.  If my life ever settles down/quiets down/slows down...THEN I will make it more of a priority to swap the frozen and pre-prepared stuff for the fresh stuff.  Right now, I must do what is possible and realistic for me, and stop beating myself up about it.  !!!

3.  I'm going to eat three meals and two snacks per day, and space them out so that I never get too hungry or feel like I'm starving or depriving myself absurdly.  I like the 5-Factor Diet suggestions, by the celebrity-trainer guy Harley Pasternak.  On his plan, you eat five meals each day that must be made up of five components: a lean protein, a complex carbohydrate, fiber, a "good" fat, and a sugar-free drink. The food choices are based on the Glycemic Index (low-glycemic = good, duh! LOL) to help control cravings and overeating.  This seems to be a good plan to follow in general, so I'm going to try.

4.  I'm going to exercise a little every day.  My goal is to fit in four machine workouts - either treadmill or elliptical - each week.  The other three days, I'm going to do a little abdominal ball/agility ball sculpting, or floor crunches, or both.  When I tell myself that I deserve "days off" from exercising during the week, I always end up with more "off" days than exercise days.  It's really not that hard to find a little piece of time to do SOMETHING every day.  Hell, I could run up and down the steps in our entryway 10 times and burn off a load of calories!  I avoid exercise, because I've never enjoyed it.  I still don't.  But at my age, it's become painfully obvious that I'll never lose this weight without the workouts.  I must find a way to fit them in, period.

5.  I'm going to be better about blogging, because it helps me.  A LOT.  Even if nobody else ever reads these words, it helps me in some weird way to get my thoughts about food out of my head and onto the screen.  If it were 1987, I'd be scribbling furiously in a food journal, and it would have the same effect - it motivates me to try harder, and it helps me get from one day to the next.  My blog is my "support system," though an impersonal one, and I can't help but think that someday, long after my ashes are fertilizing the wildflowers at the cabin, my daughters and grandkids will read these words and realize just how hard it was for Mom to get healthy and back into shape, and they'll understand how difficult and grueling this struggle was for me, and they'll maybe gain a new perspective about me.  Or maybe not.  Time will tell.

  
Here's hoping that my new attempt will be successful, and that I can reach my goal weight of 125 pounds by Thanksgiving, which falls on November 24th this year.  This is 73 days from now, which translates into roughly 2.5 pounds to lose per week.  I CAN DO THIS!!!  I'm thinking that Thanksgiving dinner is a great "reward meal" to look forward to - and hopefully, my stomach will have shrunk so much by then that I'll only be able to eat four bites of it.