Friday, 10/8/10:

WEIGHT before eating today:  156.5

Daily Calorie Goal:  1200 or less 
Total calories eaten today:  Over 2000  (Second Guadalajara fiesta in two days.  Yum.  And, UGH.)

Occasionally, a person may wonder whether their diet is ever going to "take hold."  Often, I feel like it's tough to get a diet "off the ground," mainly because my schedule is so wacky, and also because any time I do something "unscheduled" - such as a date with the hubby, a trip to the mall with the teenager, a movie with a friend, or WHATEVER... those activities are always, ALWAYS centered around massive amounts of FOOD.

I know this does not have to be the case.  It's not written anywhere that dates must include huge restaurant meals, or mall trips must include pretzel bites and caramel apples... or even that movies must include buttered popcorn and candy.  


But I can ALWAYS justify why I SHOULD eat those things.


I know I feel "entitled" to those treats, even though I understand that they will hinder my dieting efforts, because I count every other calorie I put into my mouth, all week, even on week-ends.  I somehow feel like I've "earned" the treat; like it's a reward of some kind.  (Which is utter CRAP, BTW.)  I've been counting calories for so many years that it's second-nature for me now.  I know the calorie content of a single serving of hundreds (possibly thousands) of foods.  (Ask me anything!)  And anything I don't know the calories for, I know how to find out:  You can look up any food, including anything served at nationally-known restaurants, at    www.calorieking.com.  I LOVE this site.  Everyone who wants to lose weight must visit this site.  It takes all of the guesswork out of calorie-counting, which means it takes away the chance that a dieter will "fool themselves" into believing that a full order of Dominos Cinnastix slathered in sweet icing does NOT contain 1210 calories.  BURP.

http://www.calorieking.com/

But I digress.

Back to my food-filled Friday.  I didn't do the best today with my calories before our date-night meal.  I could have probably stuck to it in the morning, but I was so hungry when I got to work (at 11:30 a.m., UGH!) that I made myself an "Amy's Kitchen" Mattar Paneer frozen meal, and I inhaled that sucker.  It was fabulous.  I LOVE Indian food.  We have a decent Indian cookbook, and I should cook more dinners from it, but it's almost always a "not enough time" thing with me.  That, and the fact that the ingredients cannot be found at HellMart.  If I want fresh (or even semi-fresh) Indian spices, I have to drive to the Whole Foods Co-op in Duluth.  It's not ridiculously far, but it's still out of the way enough that I rarely get there.  Which is a bummer, because I love the place. 

Whole Foods Co-op, 610 E. 4th St., Duluth, MN 55805

So after my frozen meal, I kind of grazed the rest of the day until dinner.  I didn't go over-board or anything, but I wasn't strict enough, either.  I ate bites of whatever was in front of me, mostly baby's leftovers.  Half an apple, half a package of Carl Buddig turkey, bites of leftover cotton candy from Thursday's movie night, etc. etc..  Luckily, I didn't eat so much that I was too full for Mexican food!  (LOL, I know.  An impossibility.)


Dinner was perfect, as always.  In 4 1/2 years of eating at Guadalajara Restaurant at the Mariner Mall in Superior, I have NEVER had a bad meal.  We love the place so much that the hubby and I GOT MARRIED THERE!  (Not kidding!!!)  My profile picture even shows me with a glass of sangria in front of me, and our wedding guests behind me.  Fun!

I was 122 pounds here!  And SO hungry!

I can't imagine ever fitting into that dress again.  (But I know my hubby would love that!)

Shredded chicken, Spanish rice, refried beans, salad, guac... Mmmmmmmm!

So our date tonight was fun, our meal was delicious, and I waddled out of the restaurant, fat but content.  All the food made me feel like a slug driving to Duluth to pick up the girls at Grandma's house.  But it's OK.  There's always tomorrow.


Right?  

Because if I let one day or a couple of days of too many calories get me down, then what's the point?  I love food.  I love to eat.  I know that any diet I attempt will never be perfect, and it will NEVER be easy.  I don't expect 37 pounds to melt away without extreme effort.  Today is the 19th day of my diet.  I was exactly 1 1/2 pounds lighter this morning that I was 19 days ago, the day I started, September 20th.  


I'm not the least bit upset about this.


I know what I have to do to lose 37 pounds.  The only piece I have to figure out now is how to implement the necessary activities to assist me on my journey.  I need to count every calorie I eat.  I'm doing that, as well as I can, even when I cheat.  I need that accountability.  I need to do crunches to help firm and strengthen my abs.  Somehow, I must fit this into my crazy life.  The same goes for cardio exercise.  I must work it in, or I'll never lose the 37 pounds I want to lose - period.  


So that's my story, and I'm sticking to it.


More or less.


Kinda.