Monday, October 4, 2010

Monday, 10/4/10:

WEIGHT before eating today:  157.0

Daily Calorie Goal:  1200 or less
Total calories eaten today:  Over 2000.  (And this was by 1:00 p.m.  Aaaakkk!!!  I knew I was right to be fearful.  GAG.)

Let it be said that Kristin knows her own weirdnesses like the back of her hand.  Yesterday's blog was pretty prophetic, really.  And yes, I posted yesterday's today, and yes, I have only mucous and a migraine for excuses.  Lots of carb-saturated mucous.  

I'm afraid to post what I ate today.  Seriously, I wouldn't want to feel responsible for any possible random-blog-reader out there throwing up on their expensive shoes or something.  I ate a lot.  Way more than I needed to; way more even than I was hungry for.  I felt crappy before I ate anything today, I felt crappy while I was eating today, and I felt fantastically crappy after eating everything I ate today.  And you know what?  It's now 7:30 p.m., I'm still eating, I still feel crappy, and after all the crap I've crammed in my mouth today, I'll probably feel crappy all night and well into tomorrow.  CRAP!

Sometimes we fall off the wagon when we diet.  And sometimes, we fall off a cliff.  Today, this was me, swan-diving into the deepest-@#$*^-crevice in the Grand Canyon.  When I fall off, at least I give it 110% effort, beotches!

Even I have no words.
OK, so enough with the "joking-about-it-makes-it-all-better" bull@#$*^.

Awwwww.  ROTFL.
Time for me to get seriously back on track tomorrow.  Today has been a total bust, and, apart from my bad cold making me feel so crappy, I don't really know why it was so much harder for me to stay on-track today.  I wasn't consciously thinking anything negative, wasn't feeling down, wasn't beating myself up internally because Friday through Sunday weren't the greatest calorie-counting days...  I felt miserably sick, but food-wise, I drove to work intending to get down to business as usual with my calorie-counting.  I ate a piece of fresh pheasant at home (thanks, honey!), fairly lean protein, no problem.  I drank my morning cup of hot tea, no biggie.  But once I was at work, around 10:30... All holy hell broke loose.  Seriously, my hunger-response must have had some kind of random malfunction today.  I can't write how much of the following foods I ate, because that would be far too humiliating.  I simply cannot own up to the horror of it.  But for the sake of honest documentation, it went a little something like this:

pan-seared pheasant
carrots & veggie dip
diet 7-up
frozen dinner
another frozen dinner
multiple bags of fruit snacks
multiple cereal bars
handful of Tums
real 7-up
saltine crackers
more grapes 
medium Dr. Pepper from Taco John's
multiple mini Reeses peanut butter cups
ANOTHER frozen dinner

Uh-huh.  Do your shoes need a wash yet?  If so, my sincerest apologies.

Sometimes, we fail at something so astronomically, so catastrophically, that sadly, the only thing one can do is LAUGH.

And that is what I am doing now:  laughing.  Because I know, without a doubt, that even if I tried, I COULD NOT EAT THIS MUCH AGAIN TOMORROW!!!


I am not a fat cow.  I am not a fat cow.  I am not a fat cow.

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